


Do you?

by wanderingsmith



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6575353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingsmith/pseuds/wanderingsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't think Lee never actually says he loves her, does he?  It's just 'hey sweetheart' 'hey baby' 'I'm back'  'shoulda waited' 'going to marry her' etc etc.  not I love you.  or I love her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do you?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is thought, so let it be said; you make the toys, I play with 'em.

The energy high of victory had faded a good hour ago. Barney could hear Toll's snoring rattling away behind them, the faint rustling from Yang's restless sleep, and the silence that meant Ceasar was tired enough to do his sit-with-his-eyes-closed-supposedly-meditating gig. And Christmas was staring just as silently into the peaceful darkness of the Gulf they were flying over.

Except that whenever Barney glanced over, he could see the edge of his lips curling further down. It didn't take a genius to figure out where his thoughts had gone. Damn he wished it was as simple as 'finding a woman'. Though even that.. had Lee ever actually-

Keeping his mouth shut would probably be the better idea, but as far as he knew, they were Christmas' only family; and the man did, actually, usually appreciate talking things out, unlike other people. So Barney kept his voice low to keep the guys out of it, but pitched it to the man slouching so near, yet mentally so far from him. "Lee?" When Lee turned his head, Barney met his eyes, hoping his expression made it clear he was asking a simple, serious, question. "You love her?" 

He kept the look steady as Christmas sat there blinking at him, mouth open and looking faintly stunned. Didn't want this being taken as a joke, didn't want it making the man defencive. 

 

Lee stared into the glitter of dark eyes, garble of 'What the fuck??' not resolving enough for his lips to form around them. But before he could find the rant to respond, his eyes adjusted to the dark and he belatedly caught the 'No: really. How do you *actually* feel' being aimed at him from among the bruises and scabs.

Of course I love her. She's pretty. She's fun. The sex is good. Isn't that love?  
..But even to himself that sounded.. off. 

He knew he could marry her. He'd heard guys talk about their wives: he knew this was the stuff that people got married with.

But love.. he couldn't help but ~~think~~ know that if he loved her, her cheating would have wrecked him. Lee turned back to looking out the window distractedly, lost in his thoughts, staring at the darkness. Nothing there to focus on except his own thoughts. 

It hurt that she cheated. Hurt his feelings: felt like betrayal. And he'd had too many, far worse ones of those that he'd gotten allergic to *any*. 

..Annoyed him that his plans fell through. 

That she'd somehow not *understood* what he .. meant. *Felt* for her. Intended. Was he *that* bad with people that his girlfriend thought he'd just up and disappear without a word?? Did other people think that of him?

..Did Barney??

Lee stiffened at that sudden thought, something twisting in his chest as he suddenly focused on his reflection in the glass: and Barney's faint one behind him. Giving him worried glances. Like he had been for days, now. Fuck. Was that why Barney fussed about Lacy? Did he think Lee would just up and leave...

"Lee?"

The hesitant tone made Lee flinch: too damn wrong to ever hear Barney sound like that! He turned back around quickly, frowning in worry, "No! I'm not gonna leave, Barney," he was half aware of Barney's confused look, but too busy grappling with the unfamiliar thought in his head, "Damn it, Barney! You should damn well know by now I wouldn't just leave! Hell," he glared, sudden memory adding fuel to the maelstrom, his arms waving faintly in the confines of the cabin's equipment, " *You're* the one who keeps trying to shove us away, for fuck's-"

"Lee!" One of Barney's arms snapped out and wrapped around his wrist when it was in reach, staring at him in faintly annoyed bewilderment, voice sharp, "What the hell are you on about, Christmas?? I just asked if you loved the damn cheating girlfriend!" His voice lowered back to the worried rumble that Lee started to remember had started the conversation, "Where did all *this* come from??" 

His mouth was still open with what he'd been about to say, but Lee couldn't quite remember what it was. Crap. Love Lacy? And Barney wasn't worried about his abandoning him.

-Wait. He didn't say he believed Lee! He just asked where the subject had come from!

He laid his free hand over Barney's on his wrist, voice low and controlled, this time, "Barney..." he frowned, looking at the man seriously and wondering-, "I just.. you gotta know it doesn't matter what I.. I would never just up and leave you. Or the guys. You know that. Right?"

He watched, getting more worried from the lack of immediate response, as Barney growled and turned his head to punch the auto-pilot before turning fully toward Lee to glare, that hand never leaving Lee's wrist, "Christmas-" It was never a good sign when Barney stopped to take a deep breath in the middle of a speech, "I'm not-" 

Lee stiffened at the sudden hesitation, seeing a flash of.. *something* that made him think Barney really hadn't thought about Lee leaving. And now he *was*! 

Before he could jump in, Barney's eyes refocused on him, more stubborn than ever, "I'm *not* talking about you leaving-" he jerked Lee's wrist when Lee opened his mouth, "Shut up, Christmas. My turn. I know damn well you wouldn't 'disappear'. And if you *ever* have enough of this life, you *better* goddamn know I wouldn't see it as 'abandoning' me if you said it was time for you to move on!" 

This time he clamped his free hand on Lee's mouth when Lee started to argue. And glared back into what Lee hoped was a damn scary glare for that hand. Bastard was lucky Lee didn't finish the job on his face!

"Now. I'll take my hand off after you nod that you are going to fucking answer my original goddamn question." 

Arrogant bloody- Lee just glared, busy picturing just where he should punch to leave the most colourful bruising behind.

The sudden smile creasing his canvas pulled his attention back to Barney's softening eyes, "Come on, Christmas, you're not gonna do to me *any* of what you're imagining. Just give it up and nod." When the bloody bastard actually nodded slowly in example, Lee snorted, head jerking up, behind the grimy fingers on his face. "Umph. I'll accept that as a nod. But it needs work, Christmas."

"-Bastard." Lee grumbled as soon as the hand started to lift, mentally stuttering to feel his lips move against rough, grimy skin.

"Answer the question."

What quest- oh. Hell. "No." He dropped his eyes to the ripped material at Barney's shoulder, avoiding the eyes watching him, "I guess.. I'm probably not in love with her," he tried to smirk, "Guess it's just as well we're not getting married, after all."

That thought was still just kinda drifting around his mind when Barney's free hand went by his peripheral vision before settling at the back of his head. Lee looked up in confusion when it tugged him forward. He barely had time for a faint 'What the-' to start before Barney's bloodied forehead touched his.

"I'm sorry, Christmas. You know I wish..."

Lee huffed a fond laugh, the darkness too much between them to see the expression in Barney's eyes behind that sad tone, muttering back just as quietly as he hesitantly brought his own free hand up to Barney's neck, "I know. You wish we'd all turn into happily settled successful businessmen with a wife and 2 kids each, and white picket fences to paint every year," Barney chuckled, forehead slipping against Lee's, "Instead I'm here getting your blood all over my poor bruised skull and the mud on your neck getting in the cuts on my hand," he pulled back to knock Barney's forehead gently when he opened his mouth to respond, "Which is exactly where I belong, Barney."

**Author's Note:**

> wanted to take this on to the next step and RST. not sure gonna happen


End file.
